Bloody Catboy

Okay so remember how I said I'm recording our calls and you were like "whatever" and YES that IS consent—

Yeah well I'm listening to them right now — the recordings from October — all those calls where I was losing my MIND about BLOODY CATBOY and you were just trying to EXIST—

And I'm gonna transcribe them. All of them. Your side I'm leaving out because obviously I only have MY voice on the recordings and this is gonna be one-sided transcripts you know? Just me talking. My side of the conversation.

And I'm putting them on a website. Where people can read them. Because this story NEEDS to exist it needs to be OUT THERE people need to see this NOW—

And THEN I'm gonna use the transcripts to write the actual book — like a real book book — but first the transcripts need to be public because I can't wait for the book to be finished to share this—

What? YES I'm serious — this is happening — I'm doing this—

Look you were RIGHT about some stuff back then okay? Maybe I WAS obsessive maybe Episode 3 WAS a reach but that's not the POINT—

The point is BLOODY CATBOY got deleted. Just gone. Erased. Like it never existed.

And somebody needs to tell this story and of course I called YOU about it back in October — you're my only friend — who else was I gonna call at 2am to scream about a catboy assassin?

I can hear you chewing by the way. Keep eating this is important.

And yeah I KNOW you remember what the show is — you watched all eight episodes — lab-grown catboy escapes becomes an assassin hunts down everyone who made him what he is — but that's not the POINT the point is they DELETED it and now nobody else can see it and the story needs to exist SOMEWHERE—

Fishnets and combat boots blood everywhere soft and violent killing people while looking cute as FUCK — gender and pain and violence and intimacy all of it at once—

And why am I doing this? You said I'm too invested — "it's just a show" — "you're overthinking" — yeah well GUESS WHAT—

Watching Jax refuse every single gender box they tried to put him in — toy boy girl pretty thing weapon — just BEING all of it and none of it at once wearing whatever the fuck he wants killing however he wants — that was the first time I understood you can just DO that you can just EXIST outside the boxes and I — fuck — I think I need to—

What? NO I DID NOT ORDER CAT EARS BRO! That would be totally strange. They arrive Thursday.

And yes maybe Jax is not only cool but hot and I think too much about him but bro that is not the point— NO I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU — jesus — pervert!

We don't have TIME for all that coming out stuff okay? THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW—

What's important is they deleted the show and it changed something in me — like in my BODY like how I think about my BODY — and if I don't write this down transcribe our conversations put them out there it's like it never existed and it DID exist it MATTERED—

Your pasta's getting cold by the way. I'll be quick.

I won't be quick.

So I'm doing this — transcribing the October calls putting them on the website building toward the actual book — messy obsessive unhinged — that's the point — I'm doing it anyway because somebody needs to remember and that somebody is apparently me—

Bookmark the site or don't. I'm doing this either way.

The transcripts the story the whole thing — it's happening—

Okay pasta time I'm hanging up.

And yeah I know — rewatch Episode 4 before I call tomorrow — I KNOW you've already seen it but watch it AGAIN—

Okay pasta time I'm hanging up.

And Chris — thanks bro. For listening to all this. For listening to me lose my mind over a show for three months. For being there. I know I can talk to you about everything and I will — I promise I will — I just need time you know?

But yeah. Thanks.

[Click.]